Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Waterworks

Pensive
Pensive

Yesterday, I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes dry. It began with the right one. Because my right eye has been leaking on and off for months, I assumed that’s what it was doing -- some inexplicable allergy or impacted tear-duct-related leakage I haven’t had time to deal with. Because there has been no pain or irritation, just incessant water and the annoyance of having to constantly reapply makeup on one eye, I’m putting off the eye doctor until after the move.

No big, I’m used to it now, and my right cheek doesn’t mind the additional moisturizer. But yesterday was different. My sister Jane was here, sitting in her corner of the room that is still my office for another few weeks. She had just finished a conference call, and was catching up on emails. I was toggling between three projects, and tore my eyes from my computer screen to look out the window and watch a small bird twirl in the air and finally perch on the railing of the next building.

Sponsored
Sponsored

“Are you okay?” Jane asked.

“Oh, yeah, fine,” I said. I wiped a droplet from my right eye. “I need to get this checked out. My eye just waters sometimes for no reason. David thinks it’s stress related, but I’m going to get it checked once we’re back from his show and all moved. I sort of think my body is compensating for all of the freakouts I’d be having if I wasn’t taking daily anti-anxiety medication.”

I held it together for another second, and then dropped my face in my hands and began to sob. Liquid flowed from both eyes, onto my hands, and down my arms to the creases of my elbows, which were resting on my desk.

“Oh, honey.” Jane jumped to her feet to stand behind my chair. She rubbed my back and shoulders. She tried to lighten the mood by making absurd comments, and though I smiled into my hands, I couldn’t stop crying. The most frustrating thing about my sudden, uncontrollable waterworks was that I couldn’t pinpoint a trigger. It was just… everything.

“Come on, stand up,” Jane said. I wiped my eyes and stood to face her, and she talked until we were both smiling.

I figured that was the end of it, that I just needed a little release of some pent-up emotion. But for the rest of the day, into the evening, until I had my first glass of wine, moisture seeped steadily from both of my eyes, and wiping it away before people could notice – first at the grocery store, then at a friend’s place – became as natural to me as blinking.

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Ramona musicians seek solution for outdoor playing at wineries

Ambient artists aren’t trying to put AC/DC in anyone’s backyard
Next Article

Live Five: Sitting On Stacy, Matte Blvck, Think X, Hendrix Celebration, Coriander

Alt-ska, dark electro-pop, tributes, and coastal rock in Solana Beach, Little Italy, Pacific Beach
Pensive
Pensive

Yesterday, I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes dry. It began with the right one. Because my right eye has been leaking on and off for months, I assumed that’s what it was doing -- some inexplicable allergy or impacted tear-duct-related leakage I haven’t had time to deal with. Because there has been no pain or irritation, just incessant water and the annoyance of having to constantly reapply makeup on one eye, I’m putting off the eye doctor until after the move.

No big, I’m used to it now, and my right cheek doesn’t mind the additional moisturizer. But yesterday was different. My sister Jane was here, sitting in her corner of the room that is still my office for another few weeks. She had just finished a conference call, and was catching up on emails. I was toggling between three projects, and tore my eyes from my computer screen to look out the window and watch a small bird twirl in the air and finally perch on the railing of the next building.

Sponsored
Sponsored

“Are you okay?” Jane asked.

“Oh, yeah, fine,” I said. I wiped a droplet from my right eye. “I need to get this checked out. My eye just waters sometimes for no reason. David thinks it’s stress related, but I’m going to get it checked once we’re back from his show and all moved. I sort of think my body is compensating for all of the freakouts I’d be having if I wasn’t taking daily anti-anxiety medication.”

I held it together for another second, and then dropped my face in my hands and began to sob. Liquid flowed from both eyes, onto my hands, and down my arms to the creases of my elbows, which were resting on my desk.

“Oh, honey.” Jane jumped to her feet to stand behind my chair. She rubbed my back and shoulders. She tried to lighten the mood by making absurd comments, and though I smiled into my hands, I couldn’t stop crying. The most frustrating thing about my sudden, uncontrollable waterworks was that I couldn’t pinpoint a trigger. It was just… everything.

“Come on, stand up,” Jane said. I wiped my eyes and stood to face her, and she talked until we were both smiling.

I figured that was the end of it, that I just needed a little release of some pent-up emotion. But for the rest of the day, into the evening, until I had my first glass of wine, moisture seeped steadily from both of my eyes, and wiping it away before people could notice – first at the grocery store, then at a friend’s place – became as natural to me as blinking.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Pie pleasure at Queenstown Public House

A taste of New Zealand brings back happy memories
Next Article

San Diego Dim Sum Tour, Warwick’s Holiday Open House

Events November 24-November 27, 2024
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader